the piece of me that needs to be gone

i don't understand...how there can still be such a deep pit of almost utter despair in my soul.....i try to ignore it when it pops back up, i try to just shut it off but it just wont sometimes....i had a good time tonight....and i know what spurned this emotional state off.....but i hate this thing inside me that is like a seperate me....and it grates so heavily against me.....so abrassive....and it zaps all the energy from me to try and keep it under wraps. I want to have a good long talk with T to get some perspective on things....that usually always helps...ad i'm hoping that i can get some sleep tonight without angry brain attacking again....it came out of NOWHERE on the way home....gah...could also be because i need sleep....time to make the attempt....this piece of me, while i can't deny it's presence in my life for soooooooooooooooooooooo many years, needs to shut off and leave me alone....because it just does....more tomorrow...hopefully sleep will come soon...and to my beautiful friends may the sweetest dreams come to you....


....I am not giving in and I am never giving up.....on any aspect of my life....ever...i know now that I am worth so much more.....BED TIIIIIIIIIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :o)